Feelings

I’m feeling down again tonight. It feels like all the pain I’ve been feelings I’ve bottled for the past 10 years have resurfaced. I feel so much pain and so much anguish. I see at how free my brother and cousins’ relationship are and I feel jealous. For me it’s always a battle between my mom’s disproval or distance. It’s never us. That’s what hurts more. We are always good. But I can’t share or express it. They always see the mistakes of the past. We’re stuck because they’re stuck. I wish life would give us a break. It’s been 7 years already. How long should I still have to wait?

Prophet without Honor

“Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. “Where did this man get these things?” they asked. “What’s this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing? Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.” Mark 6:1-6

There are some things our parents say that unintentionally damage us. For me its when my mom says I’m a hypocrite (about me being a Christian but to her, I’m so disobedient). It sometimes makes me feel like a failure or a bad testimony. There was also one time when I overheard a conversation criticizing a woman who was so active in the ministry but fails to minister to her own family. Sometimes the devil uses this to stop me from doing ministry. I doubt God’s power to minister in me because I can’t even minister to my own family or I have conflict with my family.

This passage really spoke to me because even Jesus, who is perfect, also encountered this. He was doubted by his own neighbors and relatives. Maybe it’s harder for them to believe because they know and see our faults. Although in the end, we have to just trust in Him to make the seed we plant grow in the people we minster to. It is Him we need to please, not humans.

Comfort

My devotion for today:

“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I will wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. Because I have sinned against him, I will bear the Lord’s wrath, until he pleads my case and upholds my cause. He will will bring me out into the light; I will see his righteousness.” Micah 7:7-9

“I will praise you Lord. Though you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me. Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord Himself is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:1-2

The Lord has heard my cries. He has given me comfort. Thank you, Lord.

 

A Prayer

Dear Lord,

My hurts are deep and I feel like you are the only one who understands me. Hear my cry and send me the comfort and healing my heart yearns. Remind me that these trials are temporary and that our reward is in Heaven. Keep my eyes on You alone. You are my Rock, my Redeemer, my Father who loves me for everything I am, who accepts me unconditionally. You do not find faults but cover them with Your love. You are the Giver of all good things and I claim Your promises and Your goodness as I wait.

Rejection

A person who feels rejected interprets everything as rejection – a mere look, a harmless word, an insignificant action – while someone who feels loved and accepted thinks nothing of the same look, word, or action. A person may not actually be rejected, but if he believes he is, the effect is just as damaging as if it were true. – Stormie Omartian

I can relate to this… For almost 10 years, I feel like my choices have been a disappointment to some people. I feel judged without given the chance to explain or being open to see my side. I feel rejected, hurt and misunderstood. The only thing I hold on to is God’s promise of deliverance…

 

Isaac

I can truly testify to God’s goodness. When we live a life surrendered to His will, everything will just fall into place. A few weeks ago, I went to our church’s young professionals retreat. I’ve learned about Abraham’s faith and how he was willing to give his only son just to please and obey the Lord. The speaker, Pastor Reuel Tica, asked in conclusion to his message, “What is your Isaac?”

Christians believe and receive Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. Yet do we really make Him the Lord of our lives? He illustrates his point by telling a story about a wealthy family who lives in an 8-bedroom house. Whenever Pastor Reuel and his family would visit their house, the family would tell them that they could stay in any room except for one. Aren’t we like that with Jesus? We tell him he can stay in any room in our hearts yet refuse to let him in one or two aspects of our lives?

I was like that and sometimes I’m still like that. But through my experiences, I’ve learned that the more we resist God’s will, the more God will disturb us. He loves us so much that he doesn’t allow us to be somewhere that doesn’t draw us closer to Him.

Is there anything in your life that requires to be surrendered? Don’t delay for delayed obedience is disobedience.

Have a great weekend everyone!

His Power Made Perfect in Our Weakness

Jacob was a cheater, Peter had a temper, David had an affair, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Paul was a murderer, Gideon was insecure, Miriam was a gossiper, Martha was a worrier, Thomas was a doubter, Sara was impatient, Elijah was moody, Moses stuttered, Zaccheus was short, Abraham was old, and Lazarus was dead.. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the CALLED!

Re-post this if you know you are NOT perfect but that God is working in your life anyway 🙂 -From Leslie Cuckingnan

On Being Filipino-Chinese

Recently, HSBC offered a free ticket to HK whenever you collect 5 single receipts of P10,000. Mom was able to collect and so I accompanied her to Makati this morning to claim our free ticket. Turns out, we had to wait 7 hours just to validate our receipts. While waiting, I noticed that 90% of the people who were claiming air tickets were Chinese. I couldn’t help overhear their conversations on how they were able to collect receipts. I smiled to myself knowing that Filipino-Chinese will always be Filipino-Chinese. They always make the most out of their finances.

Chinese migrants in the Philippines dated as far as before the Spanish conquest. But it was during the World War II and the fall of mainland China to the Chinese Communist Party where the many Chinese from Fujian province escaped to the Philippines. This group formed the bulk of the current population of the Filipino-Chinese. When the first generation Chinese moved to the Philippines, they had low chances of employment and prohibited from owning land, thus most of them engaged in retail trades or worked as skilled artisans. They had to work twice as hard in order to have a better future. Being a third generation Filipino-Chinese, I am often told by my parents that the good life we are experiencing now is a result of our parents and grandparents’ hard work, determination, and value for money, traits which my parents instilled in us so that we too can provide a good future for the next generation. Chinese are known to think ahead.

I have always been proud of my roots and heritage. Though I am proud to be Filipino, I am also proud to be Chinese. I can neither say I am Filipino nor am I just Chinese. To some, it may seem like I’m suffering some sort of identity crisis but I choose to look at it as having the best of both worlds. It’s one of the perks, I guess, of being Filipino-Chinese.

Thought of the Day

I never thought I’d find forgiving so hard to do.

Remember the Lord

I will never forget my first event. I felt exhausted, fulfilled and really humbled that night. I knew that I couldn’t have done any of this without God’s help. I remember lying in bed, in prayer, asking God what He would want me to do with this blessing of a business. That same night, I stumbled upon Deuteronomy 8:18. It says

But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.

This verse spoke to me because I have a tendency to forget God when things are going well. I felt God reminding me to never forget His promises when I was in HK. He was the one who called me to go then leave HK without knowing what’s in stored for me back here. I keep this verse at heart to remind me that my new career and my life is a gift from God, and that apart from Him I can do nothing. It also helps me stay humble in success and stay focused despite of failure.

I know a lot of things have yet to come as I’m starting my floral design business. Things will definitely not be easy. I don’t expect them to. There will be many trials yet there will also be many joys. I know one thing is certain. I know that as long as God is on my side, things will turn out alright 🙂